"Begin doing what you want to do NOW. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, & melting like a snowflake."
-Marie Ray
I keep thinking if I read this over and over and over... I'll begin doing what I want to do NOW. But it's not working (lol). Why is it that we let things like fear, change, failure, and the thought of rejection hold us back from what we want to do, from what we're born to do, from who we are? I always hear myself say... I will start "this" when I finish "that", or I can't do "this" until "that" happens, or I'm going to do "this" once I actually get "that" done. Then you start convincing yourself that what you're saying actually makes sense and it's a good idea, that what you're doing to yourself is motivation to actually get to where you want to be (emotionally or physically). IT'S NOT! STOP!! It's ridiculous... cause then you just end up with clothes in the closet that you've never worn, boxes of pictures from the last 5 years that are collecting dust, half of a garage (that's not yours) full of tubs with household items and decor, and an image/drawing of a tattoo that you've wanted longer than any of the tattoos you currently have.
***SIIIIGHHH***
Okay, sorry... I started off pretty good - but then I got sidetracked thinking specifically of what I've said that I'd "do", after something else is "done". For example, the clothes in the closet that I said would fit after a few more months of hardcore working out (which would also result in a tattoo on my hip), tubs..and tubs.... and did I mention tubs of stuff in the garage that I said I will use when I move out in a couple months (that I started saying over a year ago)?
I keep saying that I can't wait for my life to begin... my real life. But there's always something in the way - an obstacle, something I need to get through, unfinished business, bills to be paid - THEN I can start my life. I'm coming to the realization, that this is my life, my real life, my only life. There's ALWAYS going to be something in the way. ALWAYS gonna have bills to pay, and you will ALWAYS be going through obstacles. I feel like a light just went on...
"Hello Val, welcome to your life; glad you can join us!"
(Mind you, I have nooo idea who "us" is, it just sounded good... I swear I don't have multiple personalities.)
((I'm secretly laughing right now, I am totally entertaining myself with this blog tonight. Hahaha))
All I'm saying... is don't wait for what you want. Life is too short to not do what you want to do.
"This moment is melting like a snowflake"
Take a chance on change. Take a chance on rejection. Take a chance on love.
TAKE A CHANCE ON LIFE!
Start doing what YOU want to do! If you can't start NOW... Start the process of getting to where you need to be - to do what you WANT to do!
2 comments:
I do this too Val you are not alone. lol I constantly think of how I want things in a couple years...for instance, a family. How am I gonna decorate this, or how am I gonna handle this type of situation. And in the mean time I am wasting the time I have now thinking of things that haven't happened and may not ever! So I totally agree...live in the now and take things as they come and enjoy every minute.
I'm still catching up on your blog..!
I've crud like that I've been carrying around for years (Can you believe, its been over 15 years, and I STILL have some of my parent's stuff??).
I try to whittle it down, slowly. The biggest thing I have trouble with is "doing it." There's a few cliches about that problem to fix it..
You've heard them:
"Just do it" - Michael Jordan (?)
"Do or do not, there is no try" - Yoda
I just get wild hairs up me arse some times and stop thinking and start doing (their small hairs, else I'd be doing a LOT more to purge this stuff!))
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